It was still so dark that morning that we could barely make our way to the entrance where they had laid my Lord to rest. We feared that they did not give him a proper burial. How could we let him lie without preparing his body? He deserved better.
We should have been the ones to have received his body from the cross. I should have been the one to care for him. He cared for me. I owe my very life to him.
Who knows where I would be if he had not healed me of my many demons.
Who knows what I would have become? Do you have any idea how lonely and helpless it is to feel rejected? Have you any idea what it is like to be so over come by darkness that you cannot see a way out? Maybe you do know. Maybe you can relate.
When Jesus found me I was out of control and out of my mind. When I was powerless he loved me and rescued me. I was a nobody but whenever I was with him he made me believe that I was somebody and that I was accepted.
With Jesus I didn’t feel crazy. I didn’t feel hopeless. I didn’t feel powerless.
I could never repay him for his loving kindness, his steadfast love. I only wished to give him honor in his death.
As I approached the tomb I thought “What’s this? The stone has been removed from the entrance to my master’s tomb.” Who would do such a thing! Oh, if only I had been there to care for him! At the time it was still so dark that I could barely see inside but one thing was for sure he was not in there.
I panicked! I wasn’t sure what to do but I had to tell Peter and John.
“Peter! John!” I ran as fast as I could and shouted as loud as I could. The other’s that were with did the same. We must of sounded crazy. I called for them again and again, “Peter! John!” When I saw them I told them what had happened.
“They have taken the Lord out of the tomb, and we don’t know where they have put him!”
They both already looked so distraught. When they heard the news their eye brows lifted and their eyes widened so big and before I knew it and without warning they took off in a dash towards the tomb. It looked almost as though they were racing each other. I followed them but I couldn’t keep up and I couldn’t stop crying.
When I reached the tomb once more I found two people in white clothing inside. At first glance I thought they might be Peter and John. I must have looked a mess because they asked me why I was crying. I told them plainly, “They have taken my Lord away and I don’t know where they put him.”
Then suddenly one of them appeared at my side. He looked familiar to me and I thought him to be the gardener. “Who are you looking for?,” He said.
He sounded regal. His countenance did not seem like a gardener’s.
Then he said my name, “Mary” and I could not believe my ears nor my eyes! It was my Teacher! It was Jesus! How could I not have recognized him! On impulse I lunged forward and held him in my embrace. He was lost but now I found him and I never wanted to let him go again.
I had seen the resurrected Lord!
But really more than anything, looking back at this moment now, when he rose from the dead he took time to see me!
I will never forget that. I will never forget that in that in front of that empty tomb when my eyes met his –
He looked at me and he loved me.
I also remember that I was probably holding on to him too tightly because he told me to let go. He also told me that he would soon leave again and that he was in the process of ascending to the Father. I heard what he said, but something told me that even though he was leaving I would never be alone again.
One of the last things he said to me that morning was, “Mary, go tell my disciples that you have seen me.”
I was a nobody – unimportant. I was rejected and I used to be out of my mind. In my time and in my world’s social order I was probably dead last. I would have never thought that I, Mary Magdalene, would be the first person entrusted with the world’s most important message – JESUS LIVES!
Here I come world.
I have seen the Lord!