You may wonder, “How do I build healthy relationships that last when I feel so broken? My relationships are broken because I’m broken.”
I get that. I often feel terribly inadequate to preach and write on relationships because I have lost so many relationships with friends. I’m also subpar with staying in touch with my extended family. I know what it is like to have a long term dating relationship that fails. I was engaged prior to meeting Ana (my wife).
I don’t have it together. I am “in process.”
This Sunday we talked about abstaining from having sex when you are dating and how that helps to build healthy dating relationships that last. This is counter-cultural since some would advocate the opposite.
“If you want to keep your boyfriend/girlfriend then you should have sex with them.”
God’s design is for us to have sex with our spouse under the covenant of marriage. Genesis 2:24-25 & 1 Corinthians 7:8-9.
Like I said, I’m pretty bad at relationships. Maybe sexual purity has not been a part of your story. Maybe you are single because of marital infidelity. You are single and you have not been able to “control your desires.”
Then please read this,
“when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit, whom he poured out on us generously through Jesus Christ our Savior, so that, having been justified by his grace, we might become heirs having the hope of eternal life.” Titus 3:4-7
Peter says that sexual urges are powerful and “war against your soul.” Even though you may seem powerless due to your lack of self-control, God is kind and sends his love; he gives his grace; he pours out his Spirit; generously, through Jesus; so that we have the hope of eternal life!
There are waves of forgiveness in the wake of your sin.
I don’t deserve his mercy and grace, but he still gives it generously.
What are your behavioral patterns when you fail in your dating relationships? What happens if you compromise your sexual boundaries? What happens after a bad break? Who do you run to? Where do you turn?
Run to God. He is awaiting you with open arms. There you will find your healing. Even though you may have broken a boundary or the relationship is broken. God will mend your broken heart and your broken spirit.
When you know Who completes you, then your behavior after a failure is to run to the One who loves you most. When you know where to run, then you are one major step closer to being ready to date again.
Run in the right direction.
Jesus can’t make you run to him but he did set up the date to prove his love for you. It happened one Friday. He was lifted up so that all people everywhere would be drawn to him. The cross was his “joy set before him.” Joy! Because he gave his life for you!
Don’t waste your time looking for the right person, be the right person. When you are the right person you will run in the right direction.
Visit here to listen to a sermon Jovan recently preached entitled “Dating for Keeps” on April 24, 2016
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Jovan preaches for the Littleton Church of Christ near Denver, Colorado. Visit here to listen to sermons preached at the Littleton Church.
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